I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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