i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize