i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
