dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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