btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Four minutes until I can fart!
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
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If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
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Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He did a backflip because drugs
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