my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
