I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
