worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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