it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
