Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
