strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
