Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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