pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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