I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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