Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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