There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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