my mouth tastes like poor choices
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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