What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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