I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
