OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
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Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
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He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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