What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
