In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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