I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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