Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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