just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
