I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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