how hairy? two words: wookie tits
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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