Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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