you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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