Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Randomize
