Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
