dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
