I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
