can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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