Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.