I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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