My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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