I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
