Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
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his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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