haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
