yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm always down for nudity.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
