I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Come see our sink grown plant.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
