We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
