Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
