I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
