ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
