the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
you had me at cake vodka
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize