Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
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Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
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He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.