you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else