I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I wanna passion pit in your ass
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts