She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
