people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
