Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
