i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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