Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
