I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
