MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
