He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize