My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
