I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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